At 4:03pm on the 24th of April, I picked up a prescription from Hillmorton Pharmacy and walked past someone curled up asleep on the footpath. At 5:51pm, I sat on a bus on my way to the opening of Te Kaha – my city’s new stadium. 

When I was a littler boy, I was rugby crazy. I looked up to the All Blacks and Crusaders like they were Gods (I have a clear memory of being told off for jokingly bowing down to my Richie McCaw Weetbix Stat Attack card). The hold these teams had on me? Very funny stuff. I still remember having just turned seven, crying my eyes out as I watched the All Blacks lose to France in the 2007 World Cup quarter-final. It was the worst moment of my life. Those cheating French and their forward pass, I’ll never forgive them! 

On the 17th of May 2008, I attended my first ever live game at Lancaster Park. The mighty Crusaders against my mortal enemies, the Highlanders. I remember the day like it was yesterday, down to the detail of stopping by the Springs Road dairy to get a $2 mixture, what a moment. When we arrived at the stadium, it felt like I had stepped into a whole new world. The visceral thrill of seeing my heroes right there? Unmatched. Like, they’re right there! 

Darryl loves telling this story. The Crusaders go up 3-0 after an early penalty. He sits there, politely clapping. Not long after, boom, the Highlanders break away to score the first try of the game. Darryl leaps into the air, whooping and cheering. I look up at him, horrified, “Dad! What are you doing!?” That was the night I learned that you can’t trust anyone, especially family. We lost 26-14; it was the new worst moment of my life. 

After the game, Dad tried to cheer me up by buying me a bag of Bluebird chips. There was a “Rugby Superstars Cards” promotion; each bag contained a little plastic card with a random player. I got some loser from the Highlanders. I’m pretty sure it made me cry. 

Despite the pain of the evening, it is a very special memory. I hold it close. The otherworldly feeling of sitting in that stadium is something that I’ll never forget. 

Lancaster Park was a special place. In 2010, it birthed a lifelong Wellington Phoenix fan, as I sat and watched Ben Sigmund score a 94th-minute winner against Adelaide United. Words can not describe the thrill of that moment, a thrill that has now cursed me to be a lifelong fan of the worst club in the world. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

I would have loved to have made many more special memories in that stadium, but unfortunately, the earthquakes happened, and the stadium exploded (or something like that). Since that day, we have waited! And waited, and waited and waited. I remember in the years following the quakes, there was word that the new stadium wouldn’t be built until 2020 at the earliest. Are you kidding? I might not see another Crusaders game in a theatre like Lancaster Park until I’m like 20 or 21? That is absurd! I’m 12 years old, that is literally half of my life away. 

Well, wouldn’t you believe it, here we are in 2026, and Te Kaha has arrived. A stadium plonked right in the heart of my city. What is the first event? Of course, it is the Crusaders, who else? For little James, it is truly a dream come true.

Now that we’re here, there’s just one small issue: I don’t like rugby anymore. 

Over the past five or so years, I lost every single shred of passion I had for the sport. There is not a single cell in me that cares anymore. You could call my passion for rugby the first book in the smash hit series by Michael Grant, because it is Gone (let me have this sentence). 

There are a few reasons for this loss. My work for one. For the past five years of my life, I’ve been paid to spread awareness of traumatic brain injury. I can’t watch ten seconds of a game without going “ooooh aaahhhhh no nope no, that’s not good.” To think about the long-term effects of these players smashing their heads into each other for eighty minutes? There is no joy in that for me. 

It’s not just the sport itself; the culture around it is a large part that I’ve slowly been put off as I’ve grown old and woke. There is something about the Crusaders that just reeks of loser. I despise the fact that they let people like Sevu Reece play after physically abusing his partner, one of two crimes for which he avoided conviction. The thing is, you let one player get away with something like that, what stops the rest of the team from doing the same? Sevu did it, and he still makes six figures. The other day, I was in Farmers when the entire Crusaders team piled into the aisles, loud and large. Little James would have been starstruck. Slightly bigger James stood there just kind of annoyed at the group of manchildren blocking the path. They are no Gods. 

Then we have the issues around the stadium itself. It is one very interesting moral dilemma! On one hand, the stadium is a huge investment into the community. It will attract hundreds of thousands of people each year to sports and concerts. It creates life in a city that has felt dead for my entire adult life. On the other hand, it cost a billion. Yuck!

So, there I sat on the bus to the opening of the stadium feeling rather conflicted. I’m excited for the game, but I don’t like rugby; I’m thrilled to see my city gain a new centrepiece, but I’m also a little horrified at the idea of it. 

I hopped off at the Interchange to find it heaving, heaving I say! Walking out to the streets, the city felt alive in a way I have never experienced – like I truly lived in a city, rather than a shell of one. It was so exciting to hear chatter in the streets, people in community, people outside and alive. 

The stadium itself is maybe the most impressive building in the country (I say, knowing nothing about anything). It was surreal to see the field and roof in all its glory. The scale of it is daunting. And I can not stress enough how steep the stands are. I was genuinely afraid that I might fall, I felt so dizzy as we finally found a seat in the high heights of row X. But once we sat, wow, what a sight to behold. As we watched the players run out, I was transported back to that little boy at Lancaster Park. I sat in a whole new world. It truly made me quite emotional. This is it, this is the dream come true.

I didn’t really watch the game, but I had a great night out. I think the Crusaders won? We got free hot chips as we walked out; if anyone won, it was us. 

That night, I lay in bed and reflected on my day. But it wasn’t the stadium or the spectacle around it that stuck with me. It was the person asleep outside of Hillmorton Pharmacy. It was a cold night out. Did they find somewhere warm to sleep? Were they given free leftover food?

With this stadium, one billion dollars has been spent on the community, but is it for the entire community? Can everyone afford to participate in the investment? Or is it exclusive to those who already have a roof over their heads?

Here is a little bit of information to ponder, just for you. This is the Council’s breakdown of spending over 25/26. “Other” includes “capital expenditures for Te Kaha ($92 million).”

Screenshot taken from City Council website here. 

That is $19,134,000 into housing, up against $92,000,000 for the year’s payment towards the stadium. Sure, there is likely more to this budget than I can see. But at the same time, is there? This is the information that the Council gives us, these are the facts they are happy for us to see. Even if you include the $45,879.000 into Community development and facilities, and $15,347,000 into Communities and citizens – other (whatever that means), then you get $80,360,000 into what I see as money towards people and communities who very much need it. How does this make you feel? How does this make me feel?

I hate to sit on the fence, but I am. I love the stadium, I’m so glad we have it. But it’s impossible not to feel like we have just spent a billion dollars on me. I have a roof, I have a weighted blanket and heater, and now I have a stadium. Man. I’m not sure if that is just. 

If I were a pessimist, I’d leave it at that. But thankfully I’m not! I’m a hopeless optimist. I’m hopeful that we can do better for everyone. We can start by doing things like voting! Please. PLEASE. This November. Let’s elect a government that cares about people. Anyone but the three pathetic parties currently in power. 

And hey, there are spiritually bigger wastes of money around the city to point at. There’s the cathedral, of course. Have you ever seen such a selfish waste of money? It’s maddening stuff. Even on a smaller scale, you have projects like the new Grace Vineyard spot right by the stadium. Oh, you’re waiting for Jesus to return? Well, I hope you’re right, because I will be in the front row to watch him walk into your new building and flip the tables. Then I’ll walk hand in hand to Arise to watch him do it all again. Stop kidding yourself. 

Couldn’t write an okayjame piece without having a jab like that. Until next time.