Okay Jame dot com

100 things I’m concerned about right now 

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  1. The upcoming social event (ugh)
  2. How the globe is getting hotter 
  3. What am I going to do next year?
  4. My worst nightmare coming true (all of my teeth falling out)
  5. Money
  6. Why was six afraid of seven? This is deeply concerning I hope six is okay
  7. Everyone I love dying (individually in regular ways) 
  8. Am I about to die of boredom (watching Oppenheimer) 
  9. The eggs stuck in my friend’s sink 
  10. That my friends may abandon me
  11. The quality of Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget. They better not mess it up
  12. Friday (going back to edit this, I can’t remember what was happening on that Friday. It must have been super concerning though) 
  13. Being too meta, it’s cheap
  14. Do I joke too much?
  15. Are the last two concerns too similar or are they different enough to warrant separate places on this list?
  16. Undercooking the chicken
  17. Overcooking the chicken
  18. Cooking the chicken just right
  19. Repeating things on this list 
  20. National getting into power (yeah, I went there)
  21. Labour staying in power (yeah, I went there) (god what a depressing election this is going to be) (the fact that so many people vote for act is astounding) (also winston peters you have got to be kidding me. He is expired bread. He’s not going to keep national or labour in check. He will keep out country at a standstill for another three years. Absurd) 
  22. Not getting enough REM
  23. Going into a career where I do lots of writing and slowly losing my passion for creative writing
  24. Not seeing Kung Fu Panda 3 (I have seen it, but I remember there being a period of my life when I was really concerned that I would never see Kung Fu Panda 3. The second one had just come out, and it ended with that cliffhanger of Po’s dad being like “My son is alive” or something like that. And I was like wow I have to see the next movie. But then I got really worried, what if I never see it? What if we never rent it out from Video Ezy? What if they never get it? Will I just never get to see it? How can I live the rest of my life without seeing it? I was genuinely so worried) 
  25. What am I going to do next year?
  26. Someone I love dying and never being able to get over it (similar to the one a few above, I know. But, that one is about them and their death. This one is selfish – what will happen to me?) 
  27. Falling off the treadmill (ouch!) 
  28. Student loan
  29. That my desk will be seen as a health and safety concern (fight me)
  30. It is SO easy to be kind. And yet look at these people. 
  31. I’m feeling concerned as I’m writing this one but I’m not exactly sure what I’m concerned about. I feel it deep in my heart. 
  32. Number 31 is just anxiety lol 
  33. Saying “you too” when it’s like. You know when you say “you too” when you shouldn’t. Because the other. It’s like when. If they aren’t like. You know. 
  34. Making a small, truly insignificant mistake at work and letting absolutely everyone down
  35. Not seeing funny meme (imagine if I was one scroll away from the funniest meme I’ve ever seen. One scroll. And I never get the chance to see it again. Isn’t that so sad?) 
  36. I just came back from buffet and genuinely think might die 
  37. I gotta write a hundred of these? Okay then 
  38. Not locking the front door (womp womp!) 
  39. That once my pillow needs replacing I’ll never be able to find an as perfect pillow and I’ll never have a good sleep again and will die or something 
  40. Being in a situation where I’m driving home from the function and all of a sudden a portal opens and it is evil soldiers from space and they take me into prison fifty thousand years into the future and I have to break my way out of prison like a Shawshank situation and I finally make it out but then the leader whose name is Gra (pronounced ɣɾʔ) fights me in hand to hand combat but I win by karate chopping their head clean off and everyone in the world cheers because I have freed them and then their best scientists get taken away from the brainwashing place at the town square (that’s a whole ‘nother story) invent a machine to get me back to my time (I had been stuck to this point because it was one way) and they teleport me back to my car and then I die in a car crash on Moorhouse ave because some idiot Christchurch driver runs a red light 
  41. I hope that this piece is relatable to you in some way
  42. I want more time to bake
  43. That there might be a spider living in my ear (real) 
  44. Overuse of parentheses in this piece (real) 
  45. ____’s mental health
  46. ____’s mental health
  47. ____’s mental health
  48. ____’s mental health
  49. My mental health after thinking about 45-48’s mental health
  50. Hey nice, fifty concerns 
  51. Not finishing my movie watchlist
  52. What am I going to do next year?
  53. Accidentally missing a number in this list
  54. No one noticing the missing number in this list (funny bit) 
  55. Having to work in a real job for forty hours a week (yuck!) 
  56. My right headlight going out (left one has been out for eight months) 
  57. Eating healthy and consistently 
  58. I just looked out of my bedroom window which looks down a long driveway and someone is walking down it oh god I hope they aren’t coming to our house 
  59. We’re good they went next door
  60. Are these people actually my friends or were we just forced to be each other’s friends because of light shared interests, proximity, and general but not intense loneliness
  61. A sudden lack of
  62. Check-in time. How are you doing? I hope you’re enjoying this list. Remember to be kind to yourself. Thanks. 
  63. Never getting to see Jeff Rosenstock live and 
  64. Never getting to see Julien Baker live. I can take or leave every other artist I love but these two are a must and if I never see them before I die my life shall be considered a failure. This isn’t a bit. And I don’t mean Julien with Boygenius. Just Julien. 
  65. Ah man I had a good one but I forgot
  66. Forget to feed Club Penguin Puffle : (  
  67. Working out too hard and getting too massive 
  68. Am I about to die of boredom (thinking about Oppenheimer) 
  69. You thought I would have something funny here, didn’t you? I’m not immature like that. Check yourself. 
  70. The uneven distribution of fruit burst 
  71. Not being smart enough for conversations and being found out for how little I truly know 
  72. Oh man I’m feeling really anxious again right now I’m not really sure what is happening 
  73. Repeating things on this list 
  74. Living through a similar situation to one of my favourite movies and then being unable to watch that movie anymore because it would cause too much pain (e.g. falling in love with someone but having to move apart to follow our passions like La La Land. Or getting a job as a cleaner at a restaurant in Paris and seeing a little rat cook an incredible soup but then the other people working there think it was me who made it and then being in a situation where I have to recreate the soup but I can’t because it was the rat. I’d be so stressed especially when Anton Ego comes to review) 
  75. Running out of new cute images of Snoopy. What will happen then?
  76. You know when you’re so tired that you get home at the end of the day and it is too much effort to get changed but you can’t relax before putting on sweatpants so you just stand in your room swapping between different apps not getting changed and then you have wasted an hour in uncomfortable clothes and not really spent any time relaxing you know when that happens?
  77. I currently have like six chapsticks in various parts of my home
  78. How the Wellington Phoenix men’s team haven’t signed an international centre-back (jock) 
  79. What am I going to do next year?
  80. Q. How much plastic do I have in me 
  81. A. Too much 
  82. I keep buying little trinkets it’s not good
  83. Oversharing with the justification of it being “art” 
  84. I pride myself on being a very clean person but my bedroom is in an absolute state at the moment and it is not making me feel good about life
  85. This assignment is genuinely crushing my soul I am miserable
  86. Oop that’s three real ones in a row that is concerning better put joke one in
  87. fart
  88. I giggled as I wrote that
  89. They’ll force Greta Gerwig to make Barbie 2 and it will be good but nowhere near as good as the first. That would be sad 
  90. As this piece comes to a close, I find myself in a familiar position. The majority of the work is done, and I just need to add a few finishing touches. But I can’t shake the sudden feeling that what I have written is boring terrible sucks. I have two decisions I can make now.
    1. I could push past this feeling, finish the piece, edit it, post it to okayjame, make a silly Instagram post about new writing and brush off how much effort I put into it, and instead make it seem like a silly little thing that I’m not too concerned about succeeding in 
    2. I could just stop here and leave it in the drafts for eternity, like so many pieces. I don’t know, 87 is calling to be published. Think I’ll push past the feeling. 
  91. That the Bee Movie will come true 
  92. Taking suggestions for this one, flick me a message on LinkedIn
  93. Omg just realised there will be bad things that happen in the future that’s so uncool I am concerned about that 
  94. That this piece needs a good punchline at the end to tie things up 
  95. Maybe the punchline is the friends we made along the way : )
  96. Ongoing back pain 
  97. I know that the Holy Bible exists but has anyone written the Holy Moly Bible yet and if not is anyone looking to hire someone to write it because I’ll do it
  98. I’m looking through my notes app and there is so much bad poetry. Please. Please. If I start thinking about becoming a poet you all better stop me
  99. I got 99 concerns but deciding whether or not to put a serious or silly concern here is not one (I have run out of bits is this anything?)
  100. Punchline
  101. Lie in title 
  102. There was this one time I went to log into my uni email on my laptop and it sent a notification to my phone to log in and I kid you not in the time it took for me to look down at my phone I forgot I was logging in and I got a fright that someone was trying to sign into my uni email. Incredibly concerning (that is what the piece is about I think)
  103. That someone is going to seriously damage one of the elephants this summer 
  104. I would like a holiday (one-month minimum) 
  105. Giving a friend in need the wrong advice
  106. I am a baby giraffe 
  107. Thought I was gonna die tonight 
  108. My shoulder is sore
  109. Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday (just some food for thought) 
  110. Okay. Those last few have sucked. I think I have run out of ideas. Which is good because I wouldn’t want to be concerned about too much. 
  111. How about that airline food aye? Why is no one talking about this?
  112. I’m realising now that this piece makes me look like a bit of an anxious mess which is not super attractive. Everyone has their ups and downs, you know! I’m actually doing pretty great at the moment. My mental health is pretty good all things considered (all things being everything above)
  113. This ending is a bit messy
  114. My sheets smell so nice (this isn’t a concern I’ll be the first to admit that. What are you gonna do about it? Report me to the authorities? This is my website. I make the rules. I can be silly goose. Try and freaking stop me. That’s what I thought. Try it again I dare you. I DARE YOU. ily) 
  115. What am I going to do next year?
jamestempero

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